TW: talk about drug use, trauma, internet abuse, and more.
I was the “why” child.
“Why is the sky blue?”
“Why do we get cavities?”
“Why do we have two parents?”
“Why do we need clocks?”
As I got older this curiosity, turned from simple life questions to deeper more complex ones.
“Why are we alive?”
“What is my purpose on this planet?”
“Why was I born now and not 100 years ago?”
“Is time even real?”
This line of questioning, considered existential thought, plagued the majority of my middle to high school years. I couldn’t shake the feeling that there was more to life than just school, homework, and all the miscellaneous things I filled my time with.
Now, it’s not to say I wasn’t happy with these moments in life. Spending time at the bowling alley with family or having sleep-overs with my girlfriends and watching rom-com were highlights of my childhood and very fulfilling. But I still held those questions.
The real issue began when my unanswered questions knocked harder and wouldn’t stop. But then, the early 2000s happened, and household computers became a thing, and Google and Youtube solidified their place as quintessential software for the everyday user.
That was the era where the curiosity of a child sunk into deep waters.
Most of us Gen-z can agree that we were exposed to way too much way too soon. Many of us had unauthorized (and usually unsupervised) access to a platform where any and ALL things could be searched.
It wasn’t just Moshi Monsters, Webkinz, and GirlsGoGames— it was also the creepy, darker, and more nefarious parts of the internet that made its way into our lives on a daily as well. The things we saw that we couldn’t always tell our parents about.
The internet forced many of us into an early loss of innocence. And I know as a young girl, there were things I saw on the Internet I wish I never had. With Christ, all of those images, memories, moments come up and I repent for them, and Jesus cleanses me from them. Because, I know God never wanted me to experience that kind of fear or impurity in the first place.
(I will make a longer article on my personal journey with repentance, what the Bible says about it, and why it’s important to repent while on your walk with Christ.)
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As I read the Bible, I’ve come across multiple passages regarding the necessity of wisdom and knowledge. But just as important as good knowledge or wisdom is— such as the type that God provides us on our walk with him. Too much knowledge or the wrong kind of knowledge can burden the mind, spirit, and emotional state of a person.
'And I gave my heart to know wisdom, and to know madness and folly: I perceived that this also is vexation of spirit. For in much wisdom is much grief: and he that increaseth knowledge increaseth sorrow.'
Ecclesiastes 1:17-18
https://www.bible.com/bible/1/ECC.1.17-18.KJV
This quote comes from a passage in the Bible called “The Vanity of Knowledge” In which a preacher (or teacher) who we can surmise is King Solomon, speaks on his desire to know more (including the madness or disordered state of humanity). He is addicted to the thrill that knowledge brings him. The power and pride that comes with being able to prove his intelligence. However, as a he travels and ascertains more knowledge, he arrives at a harrowing conclusion.
With more knowledge comes more sorrow & grief.
Now, does that mean we should all disengage and seek to stay ignorant to world events? Absolutely not. We should watch the news and listen to other people’s stories to gain understanding and empathy of each other’s burdens and traumas. The Bible tells us this in Galatians 6:2: “Carry each other’s burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ.”
But I do think, we should also be aware of the impact certain knowledge has on us. We should have boundaries around what knowledge we extract from this world.
Especially when it’s knowledge or information (images, pictures, media, art, music) that we know feeds our wayward curiosities, wounds, traumas, and personal battles. It’s not uncommon for those in Forensics or Criminal Justice to speak about how difficult it is to get certain images or cases out of their head. Or how difficult it is for those of us on sobriety journeys to listen to music about drinking or drug use.
“Individuals with SUDs can experience a decrease in substance craving after listening to songs they identify as helping them stay clean/sober, but they may also experience an increase in substance craving after listening to songs they identify as making them want to use substances (Short 2015).”
Ghetti, Claire et al. “Music therapy for people with substance use disorders.” The Cochrane database of systematic reviews vol. 5,5 CD012576. 9 May. 2022, doi:10.1002/14651858.CD012576.pub3
While, we can’t always choose what we experience in our real lives. We do get to choose what we experience on our online feeds.
THIS IS MY GUIDE TO CURATING YOUR FEED
Create strict guidelines on how you use the internet. Especially, since the algorithm can and will push out whatever is popular or viral.
Curation Requires A few Things:
a) Know what your main interests are.
b) Know where your hard line is.
c) Follow the biblical commandments on what is not okay to indulge in.
For me, I HATE to scroll and see people fighting or cussing suddenly. It triggers me. So, I make sure to curate my feed so that I don’t see those things.
So, you can:
1) Block accounts & creators who showcase unsavory behavior. PLEASE DON’T BE AFRAID TO BLOCK!
2) Restrict, mute, or mark posts as “not interested” so they do not come up on your feed.
3) Use Keyword Restriction to keep certain comments from popping up on your feed.
4) On Youtube, pause your history, this prevents YouTube from recommending new creators or videos that you have not sanctioned.
And the biggest one. Stop endlessly scrolling. I know this is difficult. But that is the only way to break out of this cycle.
So many of us in Gen-Z deal with anxieties that come from the unspoken experiences we’ve had with the early internet and the current one. My recommendation will always be to go to God, participate in talk therapy, and to find a community who understands what you may have experienced.
We don’t have to hold this, anymore. We are allowed to be free. Christ grants us that.